Engle Family

Ok here it goes

2010-04-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

Taken Tara example and bloging. Nothing new, Looking for work and trying to get our apartment. Community action is taking their sweet time.

Get Oni every other weekend for whole weekend. I LOVE IT!!! She will be 4 next week, I feel old with how old the kids are. Josh turn 9 in March, Oni will be 4 next week and Hunter turned 2 last month, where has the time gone??

I am still alive

2010-02-14T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry havent posted inawhile. Havent had internet. I moved to Tigard with Joey. Life is still the same tho. Different place same stuff gotta deal with. Wedding is now July 9th of 2010!! Thats all for now will write more when can sit for longer!!

4th of July and after

2009-07-22T16:23:00.000-07:00

So the forth we went to and watched fireworks. Nothing big since we were leaving next day for camping

Then on the 5th we headed up for a week of relaxation!!! We went to tillamook forest in middle of now where and camped!!! Took 5 hrs to get there cuz off trailer problems. It was crazy.

Monday- Was set camp rest off way up. Nothing big happened beside Kevin throwing a energy drink bottle into fire w the lid on it and BIG POP. Got everyone out of their seats. No one was seriuosly hurt. Sparky got some on him but main his pillow and Krista got few on her ear and burned it.

Tuesday_ We went to Galibaldie to go crabbing. Got 2. :( Becky broiled them up for anyone who wanted them w dinner. James had the girls rinse out he bucket we had the bait in dow n at the creek.
Later that night found out there was still fish stuff in bucket and drew in a Bobcat into camp. Freaky. The 3 guys headed to creek and yelled back to me to get the girls and dogs into the truck. Courtney grapped Oni and ran. I got Annie by hand and called dogs. One shot from gun and it scaried it away. Poor Annie was so scared.

Wednesday- Went to old town New Port craping again. By end of day had 22 all together! Joey, Oni and I went off and explored the shopps, I didnt buy anything was a good girl! Did not get back to camp til almost midnight.

Thursday- Joey and I decided to try and bathe in creek. Went walking down it Didnt see a deep spot so went other way. I stopped to get a rock out of my flip flop and he made a comment bout good was going to say lets stop.. Thought he had to pee so sat down. He said something and so I looked at him. HE pulled this out of his pocket!!!
.
He asked me to marry him!!! OF course I said YES!
We went swimming later that day, I was brave enough to get in the water it was freezing when went to bathe. I not that crazy, shhh dont tell me that. Annie went home today :( she had so much fun!

Friday- Swimming and fishing day. Went in for little bit then sun tanned even tho cant tell was in the sun for 4 hours :(
Oni loves camping

Saturday- Headed back to town. Van wouldnt start for us. Took 45 min to get home from there. Notice the time frame from way camping and way home? Big difference you say?

After we unloaded we went and had few drinks w Sela and Alex. Planned few thing for wedding on way there and back set the date for 7/09/2011. 2 years after he proposed!! Clover and cornflower are our colors. Out door wedding.

Feels like Friday comes an goes n no time

2009-05-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have missed confessions for like to 2 weeks and I admit not keep blog up to date so here we go.

I quit from client she wasnt working me and if you have a job kinds need to work to get paid right. Health is totally better ok minus the spider bite that was really infected. wont discribe it but went in to have it looked at last Wed and they ended up having to opne it and the stupid idiot of a doctor started cutting befor it was numb. It all healed and closed now!! Yay. Wish it was on Sat, I so wanted to get in pool w Oni and Taylor.

Both the rugrats playing on pool.

Oni getting out to go another round of belly flops ontp small pool.

Getting up from from belly flop, so funny. LOL

Planing for new addition to family Nov 7. Find out what Tiff is having in few weeks I so excited. I am getting more time w Noe since I am main sitter now!! Yay!!

Here is Noe in all her cuteness.

Other then that looking for job and keeping busy. Still really happy with Joey. He is a wonderful guy.

Saturday morning confession

2009-05-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry was so pooped out last night that didnt do them so here we go.

* Love being a birthmom first a for most. Made a couple so very happy. This is second birhtmom and mothers days since the placement and dont reagret one single day of it. Hunter is where he was meant to be. Dispeist what some ppl say, they dont count.

* In the same Area I love being a mom. 8 mothers day veing a mom to a very adorable little guy and 3 with the cutest daughter ever. I am not prejudice , they just are!!!

Mother Day

2009-05-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

So I wasjust playing around and found this really sweet adoption mother day poem and had to share it:

My Birth Mom
© Emily E. Adkisson
Loving and gracious the Women I've never met. She made a difficult decision and She will debate that decision for the Rest of her life. It was something she knew she had to do She did it with A Mothers Love. She thinks about me everyday Every birthday, Every Mothers Day Hurt will always be there. I would not be the person I am today without A Mothers Love. I can never thank her enough For all the pain She must go through To give me a wonderful life She had to show the biggest amount of A Mothers Love.

friday night confession

2009-05-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

Yay its friday again. Lets see what i can some up with:

* I hate living in the middle of no where now, was nice while was recoverying but now I like to be out and about it sucks really bad
* I think said this last week, but this totally throws my week off not seeing Josh and now they want me to wait a year. Stupid stupid people.
* I cant wait to see Hunter, he has gotten so big I cant believe that was my little man.
* For first time in years I want to go back home to see family which is a huge thing for me. Hated my family there and the step family.
* really want to go to Rick and play a gmae of basketball again. He is the only person that gives me a chalenge.

OK cant think of anymore for this week!!

TGIF confessions

2009-04-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

OK here we go for another week.

* I think I am n love, not 100% but getting there
* When dont see Joey for the day I really miss him
* I miss Joshua my heart is breaking
* Dont want to go to Onicia birthday party tomorrow, means is a year older :(
* On same note she got her ear pirced yesterday and it makes her look older as well, it cute as can b but dont like that it makes her look older then she is.
*Been outta the hospital for a yr now!

So that is all I can think of. Plus sleepy someone decided to wake me up w a good morning text, when they woke up at 6 this morning, Joseph...

sad update

2009-04-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I had my last visit with Joshua til after placement. Hardest thing I ever had to do. My life has been bout that little man. Everything I have done has been for him or Onicia. Here are some picture Jenn took for me.

Having to tell him that that was the last time we got to see each other in awhile.

Such a darling, I miss him already!

He cant put down the spoon long enough for pictures

Im trying to keep my cool and not break down

tickle tickle

mmm Ice cream

look at that precise boy!!

He sooo ticklish

How cute is he? How can someone say good bye to him?

Me and my little man

Aunty Jenn, Joshua and me after lunch.

Me and Josh trying to eat if Jenn would get the camera out of our faces.

Josh eating his Ice Cream

Friday nite confessions again!!

2009-04-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

This is getting harder and harder. Have to think really hard to come up with stuff.

*Ready to run away from life
* I love going to the coast on a warm day
* Meeting with the mediator on wednesday made the whole Josh thing more real then I want it
* I live to see Josh and Oni. Makes the rest of time go by fast then time stands still when I c them!
* in love w the twilight series!, thanks to Kate. Cant wait for next movie to come out. Which in turn got Tiff hooked on them as well ok and ToTu

Joshua's Birthday party!!

2009-04-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

Monday we had a birthday party for Josh. He got so overwelmed towards the end he tuned himself out w his Ds. He got lots of presents. Here are some pics we took.
Me and my 8 year old :(( Cant believe it

He was licking the frosting off his cake toppers. And he has to go to school after this. Had extra cloths but nothing to calm down he sugar high!

Courtney Kropf, Joshua Engle and Onicia Engle-Kropf w truck from Oni, Courtney, James, KristaAnn,Kevin and Becky

James Kropf, Joshua Engle and Onicia Engle-Kropf

Group shot Left to right top to bottom. Micheal Abeln, Neil Hester, LeAnn Hester, Taylor Hester, MarDel Terwigerler, Annie Birg, Michele Kropf, KristaAnn ..., Joey Le Fay, Courtney Kropf, Crystal Engle, Onica Engle-Kropf(can barely see her on my lap) Joshua Engle and Jennifer Hester. Not pictured Marrina Abeln(taking picture) and James Kropf(just being a butt)

Joey Le Fay, KristaAnn and Joshua engle

friday night confessions

2009-04-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

ok I forgot last week and I am sorry so here I go again

* I feel wield (not bad tho) dating JT best friend
*I dont like saving money I love to spend it!
*I am kinds jealous that my sister is preg again. (in a way)
*I got a new client at last and love her to death!!
*I am a cat person not really dog or anything else(random, Lily came up to me)

year ago

2009-03-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

This time last year was my placement day. I had to do it at the chapel due to how sick I was they werent letting me go, no one knew how sick I really was. I remeber sitting there, trying to breathe thu the pain, which wasnt helping. Same and Tara was so happy. Still are!! Trying to sit up hurt so bad, tried everything to get comfe. Sat there as long as I could. Which was like 5 mins I think. Got picture, which mine disappeared.
After couldnt stand sitting there even tho I wanted to went back to my room and broke down. Hardest thing ever did but one of the best thing. Knew that already. Would see him tomorrow when saw Josh and Oni at visit, so I thought.

Next day woke up and from a cat nap, which was all I was getting since Tuesday and chest was tight and hard to breathe. Bob got my nurse and they did all their test. Found out that my colon was knicked dueing c-section. THey rushed me down to prep me for emerancy colon thingy. LOL. They ended up removin right half of colon. Last thing I remeber was telling Bob to call people and fill them in and would see him in few hours, which turned into few weeks. Something happened which sent my body into septic shook and into a coma.

Picture and birthday

2009-03-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday saw Josh and got Sela to bring Bruce(Josh b.f.f) they have know each other since really young. Katie took picture for us. We have some of Sela, me, and the boys from before more kids came into the picture.

Yesterday was also Hunter's 1st birthday.

This is him a year ago

Then now. Taken from Tara site. Thanks Tara and Sam. They alway(ok she) takes tons of picture . Which helps me alot.

Then now. Wow what a big boy now.

Saturday is Joshua 8th Birthday. All my kiddos are getting big, sad.

1 year ago

2009-03-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

This time last year I was getting hooked up to monitors. Surrounded by the people who cared about me more . Tara, Sam, Bob, LeAnn. Waiting for the moment that would change all our lives for ever. The birth of Hunter Allen Winsor!!!!!!
After awhile they came and got me and Tara for the c-section. Laying in the cold room scared to death and confussed as hell but happy too. New live was about to be born and I was the the birth mom!!! When they started a looked up at Tara who was so excited u could tell by her face. Think I was looking at her until the first cry cam out of him and only reason I looked away from her excitment was her expression which lead to thinking she saw him! She was so proud. Tho so was I still am!!
BEfor she and Hunter went into the other room she brought him over to me. HE was so perfect. Looked like a little angel. Of course knowing Taa she got her camera and was shooting. ( which I hate picture but will with stand it)
We were moved into our room. Everyone thought he was great thu the week which I dont agrue he is.
Got to go will post more of the week later.

Friday Night Confessions

2009-03-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ok I am doing my confessions tonight!!
* really want to be out on my own
* But yet have fear of being alone
* Favorite session is Summer cuz it warm I hate the cold
* dont like having best friends, something always happen after we get close and ruins the relationship
* I need a new computer. not really a confession I guess.
* I always wanted to be a beautian

St. Patty Day

2009-03-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Saint patrick's Day everyone. Im just following up on a job lead and maybe hanging out w a friend!! Stay safe and have a good day!!

again saturday night confessions. bad bad me

2009-03-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I was at Leanns house over night. :) So wasnt able to do confessions, yea yea yea could of done it before and I am sorry.

* I love being a birth mom

* Dont like the fact that my kids are growning up but they are suppose to do that. Josh will be 8 in 2 weeks, Hunter will be 1 in 9 day and Oni b 3 in less then a month

* Ihave eaten too many girl scouts
* Not looking forward to next, everyone leaving on vacation.
* I love summer time
* Not easy doingq this with a 2 year old helpAQ (see what I mean?)

Saturday Confessions

2009-03-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

Ok so I for got to this last night. I was in pain.

* I hate hearing people eat.
* Love my family to peices
* Was in foster care til I was 5 where they changed my name.
* Scared to death of height and spiders
* Love to play w hair.
*In my opinion the best name to be called is mommy!

All I can think of. Will do more on friday and get in habit of Friday nights.

week later

2009-02-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

I am holding in there. Saw Josh on Monday and got to tell him all about the hearing. Which was more hard on me then him. Asked him what he was feeling about it. He said He was sad because he couldnt come home and couldnt stay where he is. And worried that he will never see me again. He says he wants to come home. I know I broke the rules and asked him but really dont give a flying damn, I needed to know and he gave me the answer, so I already knew that and wouldnt change track if he would of said something different. MY kid and he will be in MY home.
Have new picture of him but stupid phone would let me email them from it to myself, getting new one Monday or Tuesday!!! Still Rumor just hopefully better

So far

2009-02-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

Everyone is keeping me busy. Friday my dearest friend Sela decided we needed a girls night out so we went out drinking. I was pretty gone, hey havent really drank that much since before I got preg. w Hunter, so give me a break. I had a sex on the beach and 4 sex in the suns(yes different drink, sex in the sun is alot better) I broke down one time during bout 4 1\2 hours.

Friday LeAnn decided I need a beauty care day. Eye brow waxing and predicures. Could do eye brows stinking whatever on eye lid but predicure was awesome. I got pretty blue(well duh on color) toes and LeAnn got pinkish purple color that is really pretty. Shelby got a toes and fingers done BLUE she is deinalty my neice. Coral didnt want one toward the end.

Then JT and Becki wanted dto make sure I was okay so got to spend rest of the day with Oni!!! That helped the most out of all of it. She stayed by myside. WHere she went i was dragged along w her. I was awesome. Not the same as having Josh but it helped.

Today going to stay home get some stuff done at some point.

Pictures of Taylor

2009-02-21T13:06:00.001-08:00

These pictures remind me of Hunter in his First Hair Cut Blog.
They are definatley cousins.

Day 3 final day

2009-02-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

Day 3. Day been avoiding for like ever now.

First up was another caseworker. A.M. She wasnt that much help on either end.

S.M. She was more help then thinks they were, even tho she didnt want to do it. She told the truth and stated what she knew not putting in what she heard from others. No matter what S.M., you will always be my friend and happy to call u that. Love ya.

L.H. she too told it how it is and didnt add more then needs. She was more help then she knows. She was nervous, she was barking her answers out. Quite funny if u ask me.

Got a long lunch had to wait for Dip shits attorney to get done w what ever she was doing.

After Lunch Dip shit added some evidence which was OMG stupid. Picture from whne Josh was 1-3 years old. Hello what evidence is that ppl.

Closing agreements.

30 min break for judge to decide my fate. Worse 30 min of my live. S.M. took me outside and found a cig for me, boy I need it.

After break; judge terminates both parental rights. My heart is broken no way at moment to repair. Cant believe I have no rights to my boy, my sonshine. I hate life at moment (not in bad way, no thought of bad stuff to my self, promise u all)

Thank s for all the prayers and thought thu this.
And thanks to my family and friends for sticking by my side and hanging in there for me!! I LOVE u all!!

And most importnataly I LOVE YOU jOSHUA BRADLEY ENGLE, INFINATY AND BEYOND!!! ALWAY AND FOREVER BABY!!

day late but will tell about court day 2

2009-02-20T17:03:00.000-08:00

Day 2

First caseworker talked. It was a good testimony. She said there were compaints in Oct 05 from someone(I am not saying names) but dont hold nothing against that person love person to death weather they know it or not. That she didnt think there was reason to take him out of my care.

The officer that responded to me calling the cops the night Josh was taken. He had "forgot" alot that wasnt in hios report. He said they wasnt any hitting even tho later testimony say there was(See day 3).

Dr G who did all the pshyic eval. All 3 of mine say PTSD(post termatric stress disorder) duh after I been tho. But he says I dont have it under control. I was sitting in same room w the guy who abused me for how many days? Which my attornet pointed out to him and he was shocked that I was not a pile of mush on the floor. YAY me!! HE said Josh was ADHD which I already knew but no one would listen to me.

My councelor. Said I had improved and could benifit from more service but when no money (outside of bills and life) and no insurance cant afford.

Marrina(mom). All good.

Once again me.

Katie-current caseworker. She was so close to tears it was funny. When asked about my scores for family skill builders she lied, whole court knew it.

Gail-Josh's currant foster mom. Said how Josh is doing so far. She has talked to him about adoption. He said it was when u stay at someone house for 2 wks. So she explained it in other term. Adopting a dog from the humane society and explain the whole process. Asked if he knew what that meanshe replied "I am a dog" (only MY son) all the court room was laughing.

End of day one..

Court Day 1

2009-02-18T19:32:00.000-08:00

Didnt go bad, I am here blogging instead of freaking out all over everyone. Or drinking or drugs(P.T.S.D. thing) Started of with me as states first witness :( Not to bad, beside Thomas is right there in the jury box, not to far from me. I remained claim the whole time!! YAY me.

Then a physiologist for state that some hows determines if parental rights should go away testified. Found out that his old placement was with holding food from him if he was bad. And those are the ppl that say I am a bad parent?? Look whos talkin?

Then lunch time. After Lunch Josh's counselor. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Both of my family skill builders testified. One made me look bad but not my fault Onicia grandparents didnt want them coming over to their house right? (Everyone was out to get him) Tina had nothing but good stuff to say about me. :))My attorney asked if on one side of the scale is parents extra smart kids who r awesome parent and do everything right and the other side of the scale are horrible parent w stinky parent and kids not fed, where to I fit in as a parent. She said I was 50-50!!! Then was the guy Keith from House of Ruth. Still not to bad. first case worker was called and found out some stuff I didnt know but all still looked good!! Like the fact of who turned me in first was right on family but not the who. And then she said I didnt do services bull honky, did them passed them and then the state wanted more.

One thing that worried me was that Josh expressed to the first guy that he was worried about me. Get this, that I am going to have another baby. 7 years old. Could take it as he think I am going to replace him(yea right not in million years) or know a nother one will kill me.

Will try and post after court tomorrow. If anyone want updates, text me or leave a message and will let u know at least.

Valentines Day

2009-02-15T10:12:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone had a good Valentines Day!! I did mine on Wednesday night with the guy I am interested . As for valentines day , I had Oni all day!! Went to Grasham W Jenn , Oni is breaking Molers thu so Jen got her a push up and I couldnt help but get a picture of her when she was done.
She is such a goof(gets it from Daddy not me)

Mike made all us breakfest that morning(mom, Jenn and and I). He got all of us boxes of chocolate! Jenn got me a bag of chocolates which Oni gladly helped me eat. I didnt get anyone anything really, wanted to put stinking bank.
Rest of the day we played at home. Ok she mainly played w her favorite doll.

Her w her baby.
Will get more of Josh hopefully Friday at his homecoming!!

long blog,sorry

2009-02-13T16:55:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been that good at keeping up on this.
Last I posted was after got back from Utah seeing Sam, Tara and Hunter. So Start at Christmas. Had Oni Christmas ev, best present ever. Was suppose to get Josh but stupid Katie waited to last minute to ask Gail about it. I hate her. Got Oni a Matilida doll that eats, drinks from a bottle and play games w her, she absolutely loves it, her main batteries were died by end of night!! Tell ya anything? She got a McDonalds food, a Dora the Explora coat that talks(sent it home w her, hehe). Tons of other stuff.
Christmas spent half at home with mom, Mike , Jenn, LeAnn, Neil, Taylor, Coral, Shelby, Papa, grandpa Lee and Nana.And Jamie and James by web cam. Did our santa gift(we drew names on Thanksgiving) I got LeAnn so while in Utah I found a Horse game she had beaten over and over again on the DS for the Wii and got that for her. Nana got my name and got me a couple crafty things to do. Mom and Mike got all us girl a t-shirt from the Tri-Sabrian Orch concert they went ot back in Nov, I wanted to go but was still recoverying from sugrary so couldnt. They also got me a teddy bear with a scraf that has my name on it w choc. in the little box it was holding.
About 2 went over to Tiffany's In-laws place for round 2. This was the first and maybe last christmas Tiffany and I have spent together since our mom went to prison. :( Hung out over here had round 2 of dinner and watched movies and Noe play!
Saw Josh on Monday and gave hin his presents since we had snow for weeks before that. His big gift was a Star Wars board game which as soon as he finish opening everything else he wanted to play and won. He got star wasr figuines, and spiderman, and loads of other stuff.

Didnt do much for New Years. Stayed home and rang it in w LeAnn and crew thu web cam. was going to go to the Cooler w friends but dont really like that place.
Jan 7 Client laid me off cause she wanted my pay check and I refused so she fired me. Still waiting for new client:(( Totally crap since cant get unemployment only worked for 2 months for her.

Now to present, State is trying to terminate my rights to Josh, can you believe that? I have done every fu*****g thing they asked me to do and more. Starting the 18 trial begins. To top it off Tom will be there in person. This is going to flipping suck, he shouldnt be there yet alone have anything to do with this case after what he did to me and Josh, hell no. Need all the prayers and thoughts. Wednesday at 9 am will be at courthouse. Have few people coming to support me. Will update when know, hopefully w good news!!! I pray to god w good news. Donst know what I would do if it isnt. Jt could flip it around and not let me see Oni and then there goes my world. 2 adoptions and riped away from me and Oni riped away(not that I regret adopting Hunter out never will) just point is that only so much I can handle here. I am only human after all.

Utah

2008-12-21T10:40:00.001-08:00

Well it was hard but made it thu it. Hunter has grown up so much since I saw him last. Tuesday after I got there I got to meet both sides of the family. It was cool, felt little outta place. Wednesday we stayed in it was really cold out. I played w Hunter alot. I hated the feeeling that I was a stranger to the baby I carried. But he is in a place where he is more then loved and cared for. Sam told me I wasnt there to babysit but to get quality time w Hunter!! Made me cry. Wednesday we went shopping at 1:30 and didnt come back til alomost midnight. hehehe. Got all our shopping done.
I told Tara about the dream I had while I "was out" and Hunter started crying after ward and Mel(Sams sister in law) looked back at him and said "It ok Timothy, your not died." Dont know if anyone knows about the dream. So I will explain. In the dream I was walking down the stairs and my sister, best friend, Kate, friend Bob and my mom( which was odd cuz she is n prison) were saying we cant tell Crystal. I come in and ask tell me what? LeAnn comes up and says she has to tell me. She puts her hand on my shoulder and says Timothy died and we threw his body along 26. :S And so we went out looking for him. And I woke up knowing I had had a baby but he was no where to be found so I thought that really did happen :(

Over all it was a good trip, hated leaving. They will be up this summer!!! Here are some picture I took. Tara took some and will take them off her blog once she posts them.

This is how I remembered him

This is him now. Way different

This is a the temple. They were getting ready to light the lights. It was so pretty but freezing.

First but hopefully not the last snow fall of the year!!

2008-12-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning to snow!! In Oregon snowing, doesn't happen that often. It snowed a little bit Friday night, Carmen thought I was nuts when we were outside. But anyways it so pretty outside when it snows. Its cold, like 27 out there. Suppose to get more Thursday or Friday, while I am away. :( But thats ok, it worth it.
I am getting so excited but yet scared. First time I have seen Hunter since the placement. I dunno what emotions will come up.

long update

2008-12-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

I havent been doing blogging that often.Sorry all.

Hernia sugrary went good, still a little sore around the NEW BELLY BUTTON!!! It looks so much better then it did. Normal stomach now not big ugle scar where stomach should be. Was only in hospital for 4 days this time, lot better then last time.

Started worked full time Nov 1st. I like some times love it. The lady I "help" is such a sweetie. I am friends with her daughter which makes it hard cause her daughter gets mad at me for helping her mom, hello that is what I am there for. Daughter trying to get me fired I think.

Tiff's hernia sugrary went good as well. Her scar will be light.

Thanksgiving was better this year. OK beside morning trip to the ER. Nothing big. Had dinner at home. Then first time since my mom went away Tiff and I spent Thanksgiving together, it was so wonderful. We had it at her in-laws house(they love me to death). Since then Tiff and I have been spending more time together which I love. And more spoiling time for Noe!!!HEHEHE!!!

Sunday we went up to Coffee Creek to pick up some of my mom's stuff. Aj went in to see her. It was so hard. So close but so far away. My mom got to meet Noe for the first time!! AJ said she loved it. I get to write her now which is cool.

Next week is going to be so exciting. I am going down to Utah to see Tara, Sam and Hunter. I so cant totally wait. I havent seen them since March 27. And boy do I need a break. But that whole week. Monday see Josh(if the stupid people dont cancel it) leave Tuesday-Friday and on Saturday I have Oni!!! FUN FUN FUN.

here some new pictures of Oni and Josh

update

2008-10-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Oct 28, 2008 I go back in for the hernia thing. I am scared but I putting trust in the doctors not to screw it up this time. Bon will have my cell if anyone needs up dates.

So Hunter got sealed to Tara and Sam Saturday. I am so happy for them. Could not think anyone elsae I would wantto have him.

Here is one of the whole family.

Babies

2008-10-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

this was so cute. Someone sent it to me on myspace. It fit all 3 kids I think in one way or another.

New pictures

2008-10-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

So today was the last visit at the office with Josh and Josh together so we took some picture and thought I would share them with everyone

Josh being himself(silly)

I asked Oni to show me where her belly was, she lift her shirt up and showed me as Josh snapped the picture.

This one I asked her where her tongue was. Josh had such perfect timing on this one.

Josh wanted a funny picture of me. :S

Alot of Oni but not everyday she lets anyone take picture of her so took advantge of that.

her is one of all three of us!!!!

Here is my neice Noilani(I think that is how u spell it(bad Aunty, Bad))

This week has been good. Working part time as a caregiver!!!! Looking for another part time job need the extra income coming in.

Court

2008-10-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

Had court hearing today. It went soo awesome I cant believe it.. Jugde want return to parent by feb!!! Just have to keep on this track and all is good. My psyic eval came back really good but he says I have Bipolar. ME? BIPOLAR? imagibe that. It called changed after almost died and fighting for my life HELLO dumby doctor. But will do what ever they want to get Josh and Oni

2008-10-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

Monday is court again on kids. It going to go good since I have everything going now!!
Family skill builders every monday, counceling twice a month and working so no reason for them not to give Josh back. Start praying it happens. I want my boy back with me. Almost called him my baby but he is far from a baby now. I hope soon, as it stands now since they moved Josh, him and Oni dont get much time together anymore besides w me and that will stop next week with Oni coming out here to see me. I want my kids to grow up together. It is hard enough on Josh gasping that Hunter(Timothy) is not going to live with us. He refuses to call him Hunter. Just have work with him on it and understand his point of view. Will post Monday afternoon depending on if I moving or not but will find out tonight which one of us is, Jen or me. I hope Jen since I work in the town she doesnt but will c. But till Monday.

Just some picture I found and wanted to share

2008-09-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

So here is some cute picture I wanted to share they are from a few months ago at the towns Garlic Festivals. It was really cool, all the kids enjoyed it!!!

Here is all the monsters top to bottome left to right:

Courtney 10(Oni's sister) Shelby 9 Joshua 7 Coral 6

Onicia 2 and Taylor 1.

We didnt notice the were in numberical order till right now

On way to Breakfest.

Now at Breakfest, mom took it at wrong time, had my mouth full. :)

Waiting for Parade

Onicia is Scared, holding on to me for dear life!!!

Adoption Poem

2008-09-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

This poem is so true, the other blog I do the had it on it and I had to post it on mine. IT sad

~An Adoption Poem~
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give itO
ne gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fearsO
ne saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you
.Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.

4things tag

2008-09-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

Four Things Tag
Ok first time I have been tag. Thanks Tara!!

Four random things I like about my husband:
1.Not married!!!!
2.
3.
4.
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Food service Domino's Pizza
2. Day care assistant for"Grandma Rugrat Day Care
3. Blockbuster Video Customer Service Rep (long time ago)
4. Assistant\Receptionist for NuDawn Enterprises
Four movies I have watched more than once:
1. Loin King
2. What women Want
3. Juno
4.Harry Potter
Four TV shows I watch:
1. House
2. Bonesw
3. Smart then a 5th Grader
4. Law and Order
Four places I have been:
1.Texas
2. Washington
3. California
4. Missouri
Four people who e-mail me regularly
1. Desha
2. Ann
3. Tara
4. Michele
Four of my favorite foods:
1.omelletts
2. Ice Cream (even tho cant really eat it anymore:(
3. Chinese
4. steak
Four places I would like to visit
:1. New England
2. Canada
3. France
4. Florida
Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year
:1.Josh coming home
2.Watching Hunter grow up.
3. going to Arizone
4. living life to the fullist

Four People I tag: (no pressure, do it if you want to) [hmm do four people even read this blog?]
1. Desha
2. Bob
3..
4.

YEPPII

2008-09-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

State came out today to do their Home study, at last and suprsie suprsie they could not find anything wrong. What a bummer(for them). We cleaned up last night and them got some goodies, cookies and ice cream. Which of course I got a upset tummy over the Ice cream. I wish I could eat it so bad with out being sick afterwards but It is okay. Their is perfest baby out there because of me. With a family that loves him to death that is what counts. Tara, There is no need to Thank me, you have enough by gived him a awesome home and being u, same with Sam.

Long week

2008-09-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

So last week was horrible. Last Sunday was Tiffany's birthday and my brother n laws. She was mad at me so I could not see her. Dunno why. AJ took Noi so she couldn't see her own daughter on her birthday.
Monday was my mom's birthdy and of course I am not allowed to see her. Itis always hard on that day. My sister in law(best friend) made me stay with them where I would have someone htere if I needed to talk or a shoulder to cry on. Up side of Monday was got to see Oni and Josh all of a sudden which always makes me feel better!!!
Tuesday had court on them. Went awesome. Tom was not there by phone. Pre-trail was reschduled due the caseworker not having what she needed. If I keep up on the path I am on, Josh will be home in no time!!!!!!!!
Wednesday started off good. Then April called me saying there was 2 deputies looking for me. :( I guess the person who was suppose to be helping me while I was unable to do anything forgot to pay fines which made me really mad. They gave ne 3 options to do. Pay all my fine, pay my back plus this month or turn myself in. First and third one were a no og so I ened up paying 225.
Thursday was just stressing over the week think nothing else could go wrong this week.
Friday About noon JT texted me asking why Josh was getting moved. I replied WHAT. He called me since I had no idea what was going on with that. The state was at the apartment packing all of his stuff to move him away from his aunt. I called everyone to get answers on what was going on. from what a supervisor said his aunt and grandma werent meeting his needs like the had hope. I was not happy. Last Monday I talked to Josh to find out more about where he had been placed. He is in Hillsboro with more boys and 2 parents, I guess that is better?
I have had long talks with Michele. we see eye to eye now, she knows how it feels to have people lie about them and have a child yanked out her care. I wasnt the one who turnede her in, but I know who did.
Well that is all for now. It a pretty big so far.

First Post

2008-09-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am a single mom. Have 2 kids.
Joshua who is 7 and in the 2nd grade this year.

Joshua being silly!!

Onicia who is 2.

My baby girl and me

I have a 3rd baby who is 5 month old. I placed him with a awesome family, not in a time of ,my life where I want 3 kids. I love them to death.
Here is Hunter Allen

Here the whole Winsor family. Such sweeties

Well I am 27, not married. Kids are all I need and bout to lose that if other don't wake up and see what is really happening here. I not workiung at moment hopeful soon I will be. Been down due to a bad doctor. Long story.